To my lover that never was (A Letter)

 To my lover that never was,

There were tons of warning signs all over the place,

And I ignored them all, because the truth I could not faze.

We both were offering guidance, it’s our good nature inside.

Trusting blindly on the other, knowing we were both lost in life.

We found comfort in our words, it almost seemed unreal.

Made it hard to not miss you, because of the way you’d make me feel.

I said from the beginning I was a wreck and emotionally unstable.

Thought, I didn’t want to ruin it, so there was no need for labels.

If I could go back in time,

I’d choose to not be alright.

When I’d write and wait for a reply.

Oh, what it meant to me the words you’d type.

If I could just rewind,

I’d go back to those endless nights.

Your company was a delight,

Cause anything you said would make me smile.

We found comfort in our words, it almost seemed perfect,

Until I started wanting more but maybe I wasn’t worth it.

You said from the beginning, you weren’t emotionally available.

I wanted to believe you but I thought maybe change was on the table.

How dare you be this nice,

be there when I’d cry?

How can you not expect me to?

I let myself fall for you, even though it wasn’t right.

It pains me to let you go,

But it’s time I let you know,

This unrequited love is hard to walk out of.

I never told you how I felt,

Not now, not this late. 

As you wouldn’t reciprocate;

I will forever wonder if you could tell.

Yours truly,

To the person I could never hate.